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INT. CHEVALIER'S ROOM - DAY

Action as per description in letter.

CHEVALIER (V.O.)

As I lay in my bed two and a half hours after your departure, in comes your ex-captain, Galgenstein.

CAPTAIN GALGENSTEIN

(in his imperious Dutch manner)

Roderick! Are you there? No answer.

CAPTAIN GALGENSTEIN

The rogue is gone out.

Action as per voice over.

CHEVALIER (V.O.)

Straightaway he makes for the red box where I keep my love letters, my glass eye which I used to wear, my two sets of Paris teeth, and my other private matters that you know of. He first tries a bunch of keys, but none of them fit the English lock. Then he takes out of his pocket a chisel and hammer, and falls to work like a professional burglar, actually bursting open the little box! Now was my time to act! I advance towards him armed with an immense water-jug. I come noiselessly up to him just as he has broken the box, and, with all my might, I deal him such a blow over the head as smashes the water-jug to bits, and sends the captain with a snort lifeless to the ground. Then I ring all the bells in the house; and shout, and swear, and scream, "Thieves! -- Thieves! -- Landlord! -- Murder! -- Fire!" until the whole household comes tumbling up the stairs.

CHEVALIER

Where is my servant? Who dares to rob me in open day? Look at the villain whom I find in the act of breaking my chest open! Send for the police, send for his Excellency the Austrian Minister! All Europe shall know of this insult!

LANDLORD

Dear heaven! We saw you go away three hours ago.

CHEVALIER

Me! Why, man, I have been in bed all morning. I am ill -- I have taken physic -- I have not left the house this morning! Where is that scoundrel, Lazlo? But, stop! Where are my clothes and wig?

CHAMBERMAID

I have it -- I have it! Lazlo is off in your honor's dress.

CHEVALIER

And my money -- my money! Where is my purse with forty-eight frederics in it? But we have one of the villains left, Officers, seize him.

LANDLORD

(more and more astonished)

It's the young Herr Galgenstein.

CHEVALIER

What! A gentleman breaking open my trunk with hammer and chisel -impossible!

CHEVALIER (V.O.)

Herr Galgenstein was returning to life by this time, with a swelling on his skull as big as a saucepan; and the officers carried him off, and, to make a long story short, poor Galgenstein is now on his way to Spandau; and his uncle, the Minister of Police Galgenstein, has brought me five hundred louis, with a humble request that I would leave Berlin forthwith, and hush up this painful matter.


INT. ROOM - HOTEL DES TROIS COURONNES - DAY | Barry Lindon | INT. GERMAN PALACE - BALLROOM - NIGHT